Natalie Webster A Hawaiian Living Perfectly Imperfect in the MidWest: Columnist, Podcast Host, Connector

Don't Limit Yourself to a New Year's Resolution

1/3/2018

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Featured in South Lake Neighbors Magazine January 2018
by Natalie Webster

It’s a New Year and a popular time for change. Though I’m a big proponent of making needed changes in our lives, I’m not a huge fan of New Year’s resolutions.

My reasons for not being a fan of New Year’s resolutions are simple. First, each thing you resolve to start or stop doing is probably something you should have started or stopped months ago.

Often we contemplate and decide what we are going to change in the New Year during November and December. Whether it’s to quit smoking, quit drinking, or end an unhealthy relationship etc. Many people spend the weeks leading up to the New Year over indulging in the very activities they are swearing off of come January 1st.

If you think about it that doesn’t make a lot of sense. It’s like deciding you are going to rehab on Monday, so you go on a bender over the weekend. How is that healthy or productive? Doing so does not make the change any easier. It doesn’t take less will power or focus to start or stop doing something because it’s a new year.

What if we put our decisions for positive change into action the moment we realize the change needed to be made? If you realize on October 29th that you need to stop smoking because you want to be around for your family latter in life, why wait another two months to make the change?

There is no difference between October 29th and January 1st. There is a social agreement that we make major decisions of change on January 1st. There is also a social acceptance of giving up on these resolutions come February 12th or so.

Personally I think we are going to be more likely to make and maintain positive change when we make those changes when we come to the conclusion they need to be made, rather than waiting months or weeks till we turn the page on the calendar.

Each day is a new day, same as a new year. Each hour, each minute, every second has never happened before. Each is as much of a blank page as a new year is. Like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, we are already wearing the ruby slippers that will take us home. We don’t need to wait to see the Wizard on January 1st to make needed changes.

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Do the Rules Only Apply to Some of Us?

12/28/2017

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Featured in the Sun Sailor December 2017
Natalie Webster

Right off the bat I need to tell you that I’m struggling to have understanding and compassion regarding an issue that gets under my skin. Though I pride myself on trying to understand the point of view of another, I’m having a hard time with this topic.

Recently a parent of a Minnetonka student posted on a social media platform asking who to contact to change school nutritional service policy. The parent was upset because she forgot to put money in her child’s food account and the child was given the backup meal kids gets when there are not funds to cover the regular meal. She stated that because of this she would no longer donate to the Minnetonka School District fundraisers, and also would no longer be volunteering.

Her child was not given an alternative lunch because the family could not afford school lunches. The parent clearly stated she forgot to put the money in the child’s food account.

I have kids in the Minnetonka school district. When their lunch account hits $15.00 I receive daily emails telling me their account is below $15.00, until more funds are deposited. This may be something you need to set up in Skyward, but it is available. Plus, the kids come home with a stamp on their hand as a reminder.

As a parent I feel there are more than sufficient tools in place to help me remember to put money in my child’s lunch account. If I were to forget despite the multiple reminders, and my child was embarrassed at school because they were given an alternative lunch, that is a consequence of my action or lack of action.

During my 20 years of having kids in the Minnetonka School District, I’ve met and witnessed countless times when teachers have gone above and beyond to help a child succeed. I’ve only seen a couple of bad apples.

Recently I witnessed a teacher who was willing to give up her lunch break to help a child. With technology like Skyward and Schoology, teachers, parents and kids have more resources than they ever had to succeed.

Did you know that at Minnetonka Middle School West kids can retake tests if they aren’t happy with the grade they got? I don’t know they handle that today at the high school level.

Personally I disagree with this. I think kids should get the grade they worked for, good or bad. How is it fair to the child who studied and got a good grade, when a child who did poorly on a test gets to redo it after he has already seen the tests? Maybe if kids knew there was no do-over, they would work harder to begin with.

I feel the same way about homework. I don’t think teachers should accept late work unless there was an absence for a valid reason. A kid who turns their homework in late should not get the same grade as a kid who did just as well but turned it in on time. We need to consider the habits we are fostering with our children.

My point is it seems like we put way too much effort into shielding our children from the consequences of their actions or lack of action. We are not doing them any favors by doing this.

Do you know what happens when we do this? We raise adults who refuse to accept the consequences of their actions or lack of action. We raise individuals who blame others when they themselves create situations that are uncomfortable or painful.

Getting upset with a police officer who pulls you over because you were speeding is like getting upset with your dentist when he finds a cavity in your mouth. Getting upset with the people who run the lunch program because you forgot to put lunch money in your kids account is no different.

We could all, myself included, do better at recognizing when we are the architects of our own house of horrors. You can’t change what you don’t take ownership of.

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Stop Acting Like the Holidays Snuck Up On You

12/18/2017

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Featured in the Lakeshore Weekly News December 2018
Natalie Webster

The holidays are one of my favorite times of the year. It is up there with my love of the first day of school. Each year my goal is to have my presents wrapped and ready to go at least one if not two weeks before Christmas. This allows me time to enjoy so many of the festivities happening around Lake Minnetonka, free from the stress.

On a recent episode of my podcast “Twila and Natalie”, we had a lengthy discussion about how to create a stress free holiday. You can find that and our other episodes on iTunes, Stitcher, Google Play or www.MatriarchDigitalMedia.com

There are a few key steps to having a stress free holiday. It starts with first recognizing that the holidays are not an unexpected car accident or illness that you didn’t know was coming. It’s literally been on your calendar for a year.

If you consistently find yourself caught off guard by the holidays, recognize that you may need to start your holiday preparations earlier than you have been. There is nothing wrong with starting your holiday shopping in October. At a minimum you can create a list of who you want to shop for as well as ideas of what to get them, and you can do so over a pumpkin spiced latte in October.

Next, participate only in the activities that bring you joy. If you hate sending holiday cards, stop doing it. If you love the process of creating and sending out cards, by all means keep doing it.

We get to choose what we participate in. If you don’t send out cards or bake cookies the police are not going to show up at your door to haul you away to Grinch jail. Maybe there are other ways you would prefer to celebrate this time of year. Create and maintain your own traditions. I have friends who are going to Vegas for Christmas.

Think about what you love most about the holidays and do that. Often I hear from friends who are stressed out this time of year. When they share what is happening it is usually stress caused by their own lack of planning or participating in activities that don’t bring them joy. My pointing this out doesn’t bring them initial joy, but when they follow my advice things take a sharp turn down the road to a more enjoyable holiday.

The biggest way to experience joy during the holidays is to bring joy to others. That doesn’t mean it needs to be in the form of a store bought gift. If you enjoy making something, share it. I’ve gotten into knitting hats.

The best way to spread joy during the holidays and year round is to be polite and considerate. Nothing ruins someone’s day more than an altercation with a rude individual.

During this time of year, everyone has more on their to-do list than usual. Being rude to a clerk at the post office or a sales person in a store because you are frantic and rushing due to a lack of planning on your part, is no reason to ruin someone else’s day.

There is a saying, “A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine.” I don’t know who said it first, but it is important to remember. It is especially important to keep in mind when dealing with the individuals who are going to help you with your holiday to-do list.

Lastly, know that things don’t always go as planned even with the best planning efforts and that is okay. Somehow it all works out just fine. There is no point in fighting what you can’t control. At the end of the day we are celebrating a holiday or holidays, we are not curing cancer.

Get out and enjoy the festivities in our community. I’ve been loving the horse drawn wagon rides in Excelsior on Saturdays as part of their Christmas in Excelsior festivities. I took my step-kids and my Giant Schnauzer Odin to see Santa.

I wish all of you a joyful holiday filled with the treats and activities you enjoy, celebrating with the people you love or at least are fond of. Make it your own.

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What a Holiday Letter Should Really Be About

12/7/2017

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Featured in South Lake Neighbors Magazine December 2017
Natalie Webster

It’s the holidays, for some it is time to scramble, create and mail out your family’s holiday cards. I did a holiday card for about 17 years. I stopped after my divorce, by then my children were mostly grown. Now that I have younger stepkids, I’ve been thinking about getting them going again.

Sending a card, especially a handwritten card for any occasion seems to be going more and more by the wayside. This is a trend that is changing. The younger generations love the novelty of cards in the mail and older generations want it back. This is why a business like Epitome Papers in Excelsior is creating such excitement.

At Epitome Papers you can get custom notecards, holiday cards, or a card for any occasion and I mean any occasion. Even their get-well cards are fabulous.

I love getting cards or notes in the mail especially during the holidays. My favorites are photo cards where I can see you and your family.

My holiday pet-peeve is the holiday letter. It’s not that I mind reading a letter or don’t want to hear about your family. I just think we could all be a bit more real in our letters. It doesn’t need to be filled only with news of your kids making the honor roll or photos from your latest vacation. That is what Facebook is for.

If you are going to take the time to write a holiday letter, I want to know how you and your family are really doing. The good, the bad and the ugly. I want the truth. We live in a world where it is harder and harder to truly connect with people because somewhere along the way we decided it was better to pretend everything was perfect rather than share that we might be less than perfect.

In that spirit I’m sharing my holiday letter with you here.

Hello Family and Friends,

It’s been awhile since I’ve sent a holiday greeting or letter. It’s been almost five years since my ex-husband and I called it quits. I can’t fill you in on how he has been doing because he doesn’t speak to me.

If you follow me on social media you know I live with my life partner Tony. Tony is a man. I say life partner because boyfriend sounds ridiculous at my age. We have no plans for marriage but plan on a lifetime together. I make an awesome life partner and stepmom, but I don’t think label “wife” is for me. Tony’s boys have taught me how to fish, ice skate and enjoy life on Lake Minnetonka. They have also taught me to not follow through on request like “Smell this.” or “Put your hand out.” when the request is coming from a boy.

Tony and I became grandparents this past year with the arrival of Oliver. My daughter Kelsey is an amazing mother, surprising if you remember what she was like as a teen. Would not want to relive those years.

My other kids are good. Shelby continues to be way smarter than I am. I still use her as an editor sometimes. My youngest son Jared is in college and doesn’t return my calls or texts as often as I would like him to.

A big change this year is I stopped drinking alcohol this past summer. I’ve been sober for about six months now. I had health issues that prompted the change, but in truth I could very well be an alcoholic, I’m not sure. Either way, I’m sober now and it’s had amazing affects on my health and life.

All in all, I can’t complain. Life is good. I finally found a skincare line that is slowing the aging process, and it’s organic, can’t beat that. Works out great being that I love having people mistake my grandson for my own son. I have to go now, looks like our Giant Schnauzer Odin just threw up on the carpet we had cleaned a few days ago.

All my love,
Natalie

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The Big Payoff for Parenting

11/1/2017

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Featured in the Lakeshore Weekly News November 2017
Natalie Webster

When we are infants the first love we feel is for our parent or parents. As we grow into childhood we experience love for a sibling or a friend. When we enter our teenage years we feel what is often called puppy love, followed by true love for a partner in life.

Many of us then have children, which is when we often feel we couldn’t love another human being more than we do our children. I’ve always said my children have brought the best and also the worst things to my life. When you love someone to such an extreme, it’s only natural for them to also trigger the opposite extreme emotions.

As parents we often oscillate between being willing to kill someone to protect our children, to wanting to strangle our children. Being a parent is one of the most difficult and thankless jobs, especially before they reach adulthood

We not only keep our kids alive, if you are doing it right you also nurture, educate and prepare them for adulthood and the world they will live in. This is the end game, getting them to launch and land successfully on their own two feet out in the world, not in our guestroom.

This has always been my main goal as a parent, to have my children become productive, mostly happy adults working towards achieving their goals. I say mostly happy, because even though we don’t want our children to experience disappointment or pain, those are the things that help us to grow and be stronger as individuals.

We need to raise our kids to be able to handle disappointment, rejection, not getting their way, or not always winning. These are things they should experience and things they should learn to work through, eventually without our interference.

When you approach parenting as an exercise in saving your child from pain, disappointment or conflict, you will raise an entitled, weak individual who won’t be able to fully function in the world. Think about what you learned by going through tough times, or resolving conflicts.

Parenting is tough and the ultimate labor of love. The tactical skills required to successfully parent a teenager are astounding. Trying to stay one step ahead of your child, especially in this day and age of technology can be exhausting.

You might sometimes even ask yourself, “What was I thinking?” Well guess what, I’ve discovered the pay off for sticking in there and raising these kids into adulthood. As your children become adults they learn to appreciate you, that’s not the payoff. As your children become adults they take care of themselves financially, you get to rediscover hobbies, that’s not the payoff.

The payoff is grandchildren! Recently my first grandson was born. I love this little man like crazy and it is amazing to see my daughter as a mother. I’m incredibly proud of her.

My daughter lives about an hour and fifteen minutes away so I’ve been seeing her and Oliver every week to two weeks. Here is the great thing about being a grandparent, it’s all the love with minimal work!

When my daughter and Oliver come to stay with us I love feeding him, changing him and playing with him. But, when I have something to do or am ready to go to bed something magical happens. I hand him back to his mother and go on about the business of taking care of myself.

It’s the craziest most amazing feeling. As a grandparent it is not my job to raise Oliver, that responsibility rests on the shoulders of his parents, who are both incredible people. As grandparents, Tony and I get to love him, have fun with him, spoil him and hand him back.

My daughter is an attentive, dedicated new mom with the same fears I had when I became a parent for the first time. I continue to share my 27 years of parenting wisdom with her, even when she doesn’t want to hear it, but ultimately I trust her and Mike to raise Oliver.

This has seriously been blowing my mind! All the love and fun we choose to have with Oliver, but then when we are done, we hand him back to his parents who will do the heavy lifting for most of his life.

It’s like being able to eat all the chocolate fudge cake you want with no consequences to your health. Before I became a grandma, I had friends who were grandparents who would say, “You are going to love it, it’s the best thing ever!” To be honest, I thought they were delusional. I was done with babies, didn’t want another baby. Now I get it. I don’t have a baby, my daughter does. I have a grandson. It truly is the best thing ever.

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How My Body Has Changed Since Getting Sober

10/17/2017

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Featured in the Lakeshore Weekly News
Natalie Webster

If you are a regular reader of my column you may know that I’ve been making a series of lifestyle changes over the last year in particular. It’s an effort to improve my health, quality of life and my longevity.

I’ve gone through a series of realizations in my 40s where I’ve arrived at a better understanding of what is within my control and what is not within my control. Knowing this has allowed me to work on myself in ways I hadn’t before.

Some years ago I accepted the truth that my life isn’t something that happens to me; it is something I make happen. What I do for a living, whom I spend my time with, how I spend my time is all my decision. If I’m not happy with any of this, there is no one to point a finger at other than myself.
There is something scary but exciting about taking ownership of your own life. Little by little I’ve been changing and tweaking things to create the kind of life I want.

A big part of this involved my health. I’ve struggled for years with two autoimmune disorders called Grave’s disease and Hashimoto’s disease. Both affect major functions within my body because each affects my thyroid function.

My symptoms range from extreme fatigue, joint pain and brain fog to hair loss and sudden weight gain, as well as a host of other symptoms, which interfered with my quality of life.
Three months ago my hair was falling out and I gained 12 pounds over a few weeks. Alcohol was a big contributor to the flare-up of my health issues because of the inflammation it causes. I was a very dedicated social drinker who didn’t drink in moderation.

Per the American Heart Association, moderation would be no more than one drink a day for women and two drinks a day for men. Anything more increases your risks of heart disease and certain types of cancer.

The first thing I did was I quit drinking alcohol. Then I got serious about being aware of what I was eating and how it affected my health and sought help for my joint pain at Empower Chiropractic and Wellness Center in Excelsior.

Dr. Madalyn Raasch and Dr. Brittany Mulder work to help patients with their whole body health, not just through adjustments but also nutritional counseling and several other services. They educated me on which foods contributed to inflammation thereby worsening my condition and which foods decreased inflammation. Alcohol is a big contributor to inflammation.

I’ve been sober for a little over three months now. My joint pain is no longer a daily occurrence. My energy has increased tremendously. A nice side affect is so far I’ve lost 9 of the 12 pounds I gained. Plus, my dramatic hair loss not only stopped, it has been growing back.

My cooking skills have increased as well. Eating the way I do requires a little more work because I don’t eat processed foods, but it is delicious! I’ve enjoyed learning new recipes and trying foods I wouldn’t have tried before.

Dr. Raasch and Dr. Mulder give me the tools, and I continue to do the work. My partner Tony supported me tremendously by quitting alcohol with me, as well as going along with eating how I was eating. His efforts to support me have resulted in him losing 16 pounds, going from having very high cholesterol and blood pressure for years, to having normal results for both today, all within a few months.

Our lifestyle changes have resulted in us living more of the life we want to live. I don’t feel deprived because I’ve gained so much. I love wine, but I know I’m not the person who can successfully drink in moderation. I’m three months into my sobriety, and though it’s not without effort at times, it is worth the effort.

What changed for me was my desire to live the life I want, to experience joy, to embrace and learn from challenges became more of a priority than my false need for things that contributed to my illness. I’m a work in progress. My lifestyle changes need to be maintained if I’m to be successful.
We live in a world today where our decadence and over indulgence is literally killing us. People in some parts of the world are starving to death, and we live in a country where we are eating ourselves to death.

When we take care of ourselves we can successfully take care of others. I could see how many of my struggles with situations or people were more about my lack of self-care and not anyone else.
Knowledge is incredibly empowering and just what my doctors ordered. Drs. Raasch and Mulder have a mission to educate, elevate and empower individuals to take hold of their health. It’s a mission I’ve come to share.

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Making Skincare and Myself a Priority with Beauty Ecology Organic Salon

10/7/2017

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You have often heard the phrase hindsight is 20/20. Simply it means: It’s easier to know what the right thing to do is after something has already happened. When it comes to making changes in our health, we often do so after something happens, which prompts us to take action and make change.

We are often so focused on getting through the day, making sure the kids get to where they need to be, that jobs get done, and relationships are nurtured. The list goes on and on. What we sometimes loose sight of is that there are simple steps we can take today to protect our health tomorrow.

Less than a year ago I had a lumpectomy. Thankfully, it wasn’t breast cancer but areas of abnormal cells. Both my grandmothers have had breast cancer. Both of my younger sisters have had different types of cancer.

After my experience I started to take a closer look at what I could do to decrease my chances of having cancer. Nothing is a sure thing, but we know certain things increase your chances. Why not try to tip the scales in my favor?

One of the things I did in 2017 was I connected with Kassandra Kuehl at Beauty Ecology Organic Salon in Wayzata. If you were to tell me a year ago that I would be using organic skincare products I would have said, no way! In truth, I didn’t believe something without chemicals could work when it came to skincare.

My complaints about my skin were that no matter what products I tried, my skin remained red, dry and just not bright like it once was. Somehow Kuehl convinced me to try her organic skincare line, free of the toxins and chemicals, which I thought were the only things that would work.

To my surprise, it worked! You can see it in my before and after photos taken a few months apart. I’m now obsessed with the different skincare products at Beauty Ecology. At 47 years of age, I finally have a skin care routine I enjoy, but also know won’t cause any harm to my body.

Now hindsight being 20/20, I wish I had found a natural, non-toxic line like this 20 years ago and been consistent in using it. Many skincare products, sunscreens, make-up and more contain ingredients that have been linked to hormonal disruptions and cancer.

It’s something to think about. For you the issue may not be a need for better skincare. My challenge to you is to take a look at what you can do today to improve your health for the future. It could be anything from getting more sleep and exercising to improving your diet. Make yourself a priority today so you can be around for the people you care about down the road.

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That Time I Spent the Weekend as a Pirate

10/1/2017

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Featured in the Lakeshore Weekly News October 2017

There are a few milestone birthdays in our lives that call for something more than the traditional cake and balloons style celebrations. My stepson and I share birthdays that are a day apart.

Months before our birthdays I started searching for a fun, but different way we could celebrate our birthdays. He was turning 13, which is definitely a milestone and I was turning 27 for the 20th time.

I’m all for fun and adventure but I’m equally excited about relaxing and laying back. My challenge was how do I find something we can both enjoy and experience given our age differences?

Our schedule allowed for two nights to spend somewhere but it needed to be within driving distance. I looked at cabins, resorts and other rentals all over Minnesota. Nothing was really grabbing my eye.

This is when I came across the pirate ship Sirens Gate on Airbnb.com. Sirens Gate is a 65 foot pirate ship on the Mississippi River near the Minneapolis St. Paul Airport, about 30 minutes from Excelsior. If you know me you know I think my passport doesn’t allow me to travel east of 494. Most of the time I stay put in the Lake Minnetonka area unless I’m traveling out of the state.

Interestingly it turns out the owner of Sirens Gate is none other than Lake Minnetonka resident Dan Kellogg. This made the idea of leaving Lake Minnetonka for an adventure on a pirate ship even more appealing to me.

Kellogg lives in the Lake Minnetonka area and also the Bahamas. I quickly learned that he lives by the adage, “Work like a Captain and play like a pirate.” He has been a longtime fan of pirate collectables. A few years ago he came across an ad on Craigslist for a full-blown pirate ship in Missouri.

Kellogg purchased the ship and sailed it up the Mississippi here to Minnesota with Captain Ernie Olson, also a Lake Minnetonka resident. You may recall local press coverage of their journey.

My family and I arrived on a recent Saturday at Sirens Gate and were blown away. When you think pirate ship, you might think Jack Sparrow and what you’ve seen in The Pirates of the Caribbean. Sirens Gate is just like that.

It’s located in a private marina. As we walked down to the ship our jaws dropped and remained dropped as we toured the ship. We brought our two kids and a friend of theirs and these kids were beyond thrilled!

There is a kitchen for cooking, two heads, two sleeping areas and a ton of outdoor space on the upper deck, all decorated like a real pirate ship, or at least what we imagine one looked like.
The guys spent the day exploring every nook and cranny of the pirate ship. I don’t think they stopped smiling. I spent most of my day relaxing on the upper deck in the sun with a book. There was something for everyone in the family.

After dinner Kellogg and Captain Ernie came aboard and took us on a cruise on the Mississippi River. We were quite the spectacle. It’s not everyday you see a pirate ship sailing down the river. The kids felt like they were in a parade. They waved to people who passed, and posed for the many photos that were taken as we sailed by yelling “Arrr!”

Just when we thought it couldn’t get more exciting, Kellogg pulled out fireworks, which he shot out of the cannon! It was surreal. Going anywhere by boat is an enjoyable experience but doing it on a pirate ship on one of the most beautiful days in September was beyond amazing.

We spent the night on the pirate ship back at the marina. The boys loved their sleeping quarters, which were like a clubhouse for pirates in training. Our sleeping accommodations were comfortable, making for a great night sleep.

There is something incredibly cool about waking up on your 13th birthday on a pirate ship. It was also a great way to celebrate turning 27, for the 20th time. Kellogg and Captain Ernie exceeded our expectations and reminded me that sometimes you need to channel your inner pirate and enjoy some spontaneity.

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Permanent Make-up Eyebrows? Yes Please!

9/7/2017

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Featured in South Lake Neighbors Magazine September 2017

There comes a time in our life when we feel the need to simplify things. Whether that is downsizing your home and belongings, becoming more organized, or saying no to more activities, simplicity holds appeal especially latter in life.

This is where I found myself when it came to my daily routine when leaving the house, specifically my make-up. I don’t wear that much make-up, but I was spending a large amount of time on my eyebrows.

My genetics don’t allow for thick beautiful eyebrows. I needed to draw my eyebrows in, as have most of the women in my family going back a few generations. We aren’t sure if it is due to the autoimmune issues that plague many of us or just a hereditary lack of eyebrows.

This summer I found myself growing tired of jumping into Lake Minnetonka with eyebrows and emerging without them because make-up tends to come off in the water.

I found out that Kay Holtz of Wayzata Nail Salon and Day Spa provided permanent make-up services, including eyebrows. They use a process called mircroblading and shading to create eyebrows specifically designed for your face.

Learning that I could swim, wake up and shower yet still have eyebrows was all I needed to know to book the appointment. The whole procedure took about two and a half hours and the results were immediate.

After two weeks your eyebrows shrink by 25% and lighten a little, which is when you achieve the final result. The procedure is similar to getting a tattoo, but not as deep. Results last 18 months to 5 years depending on the type of procedure you go with and the cost is $300 to $750.

Holtz works with you to determine what be best style, color and arch is best for you. You follow up with a touch-up appointment 5-6 weeks latter. There are specific instructions to follow before the procedure, so you will want to schedule a consultation first.

This is by far one of the best things I’ve ever done for myself. It takes me almost no time to get myself put together and out the door and I wake-up looking bright and refreshed. I only wished I had discovered this sooner!

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Why I've Decided To Break Up With Wine

8/8/2017

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Featured in the Lakeshore Weekly News

It wasn’t until I was about 40 years old that I started to drink alcohol regularly. For the last six years I’ve enjoyed white wines or vodka sodas, which were my go-to drink choices.
Enjoying a glass or two or three of wine with friends, or my guy, during a beautiful meal or a lively conversation was one of my favorite things to do. I love everything about wine. How it’s made, how it tastes, how it smells.

There is just one big problem. I have two autoimmune diseases. One is called Grave’s disease, the other is Hashimoto’s. When my immune system jumps into action to fight an illness or combat stress, my autoimmune diseases create antibodies that attack my healthy thyroid, causing a host of issues. It is slowly killing my thyroid.

I’ve been dealing with the Grave’s disease for about 19 years. I was diagnosed with the Hashimoto’s a couple of years ago. Today there is no cure for an autoimmune disease. Traditional medical doctors can only treat symptoms.

I’ve learned to live with or manage most of my symptoms when my disease is acting up. Most people who know me have no idea. I pride myself on living as normal a life as possible. I’m able to do this because I manage my time, learned how to say no, rest when I need to and I don’t take on more than I can chew, most of the time.

Often I’m dealing with: Extreme fatigue, sometimes so bad that walking up the stairs is a feat, a rapid heartbeat which is puts way more wear and tear on my heart than need be, muscle and joint pain, puffy face, sensitivity to cold, memory loss. Thankfully, my friends and family are used to me repeating myself and forgetting their names as well as unexplained weight gain. I keep clothes in three different sizes, and my least favorite symptom is hair loss!

When you have an autoimmune disease such as lupus, multiple sclerosis, rheumatoid arthritis, chrohn’s disease to name a few, anything that causes inflammation is the worst thing for you as inflammation is the partner in crime of an autoimmune disease.

Alcohol is incredibly inflammatory. I’ve been able to minimize the symptoms of my autoimmune disease by changing my diet to one that is an anti-inflammatory diet in nature. For me, that is eating paleo.

Minimizing stress, getting outside, getting good sleep and exercise are also other ways to minimize autoimmune disease symptoms. Plus, those are smart things to do for anyone.
Even doing all of the above, my hair started to fall out recently. I have a few bald spots. Bald spots, people! You can’t see them the way I wear my hair, but they are there.

During a visit to my doctor’s office we talked about how important it was that I be on an anti-inflammatory diet, which I was, except for my wine and vodka consumption. I needed to stop drinking alcohol because of the inflammation affects. So I did.

My 6-year love affair with wine and vodka ended. I’m not going to lie, I was bummed out! I’m with an amazing man who also quit drinking alcohol with me in solidarity and support. We’ve come to realize that for us the benefits of not drinking alcohol greatly outweigh our desire to drink it.

Quitting was not easy, and I don’t expect it to be without a few road bumps. After a few months I could have a glass of wine once in a while. The thing is, I’m not a once-in-a-while drinker, so my partner and I have decided that we are just done drinking alcohol.

I also started a hair thickening treatment that is non-toxic and chemical free, which I found at Beauty Ecology Organic Salon in Wayzata. My bald spots now have sprouts of hair growing.
Since I quit alcohol, I’ve been able to string together several days of being symptom-free. My skin looks amazing, and I’m sleeping better than I have in years. I still love wine, but I love myself more, not to mention having hair.

I’m still enjoying beautiful meals and lively conversations, just with sparkling water instead of wine.

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A Hawaiian Living Life Perfectly Imperfect in the Midwest